North Korea, Best Korea!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Randomize
