I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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