I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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