i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
