Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
