Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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