I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
