If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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