around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
