terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
