i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He better not be in your backpack
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
