I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
