he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
