All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
