wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
People in love make me want to vomit
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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