well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
