What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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