she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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