Sponge bath it is.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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