i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
