don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
