Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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