those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
