just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
