Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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