Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
