All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
