she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
