I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
