I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
