Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You left your underwear on the fireplace
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
