Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
