I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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