I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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