Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
