I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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