Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
