I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
