My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Still dying that you shit outside
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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