I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just tell him i said nine months
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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