Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
