I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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