Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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