Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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