hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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