My friends, they love my intelligence
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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