Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
