I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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