Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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