why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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