you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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