You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
