I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
