final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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