watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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